Shinn the Writer

This Is Genius?

 

Back when having a real job was a good idea (good heavens, I’ve been retired for TWO FREAKIN’ DECADES!) I was the computer coordinator for my department. I was told that five years was a good lifespan for a computer. I generally try to milk a little more out of mine, because I’m a stingy son-of-a-gun. But my Laptop Pro is now eight years old.

 

When the battery went dead, I didn’t care much, because there was always an electrical outlet nearby, and I never was one to use the beastie in the great outdoors anyway. But recently I was given a book in PDF format. It resides on my computer and supposedly transferring it to my e-book should be simple. It isn’t. The step in which my e-book (a Barnes and Noble Nook Book) is supposed to appear as an icon on my computer’s desktop simply doesn’t happen.

 

I found that taking my computer (a laptop MacBook Pro) to the restaurant where I do my reading in the morning isn’t too cumbersome. I take a spare power converter and mouse with me so I don’t need the battery and don’t have to use the track pad (I hate that thing) and it all works out. But it’s not easy. I can’t sit at the counter where service is best. There are only three tables that have outlets, and if they’re all occupied, I’m out of luck. This has only happened once, and one of them opened up reasonably quickly, but what a pain.

 

So I called my local Apple dealer. They oddly referred me to Best Buy to get the battery. Best Buy is actually twice as far from me as the Apple store, but apparently there is an agreement where they do much of the servicing. Except that when I called them, they didn’t seem to know what I was talking about. Telephone service is pretty much worthless in America by now, so I grabbed my PC, and drove to the Apple store to visit their supply of geniuses at their so-called “Genius Bar”.

 

I couldn’t believe they still call it that. Genius Bar. Pretty darned snooty. Is this where smart people go to get drunk? Would “Genius Hash Den” be more appropriate? I got there at about 2:00 only to find that nobody would see me without an appointment. Apparently, I needed an appointment with a genius to buy a freakin’ battery. Granted it’s a very specialized battery that two years ago (the last time I checked) cost a little over $200, but come on! It takes a genius to grab one from the back room or order one from some catalogue? One would be available at 5:00. I just went home.

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I decided that for now I’d continue treading water taking my power converter to the restaurant until I buy my next computer. I have a friend who gives advice on Apple computers (for a